Of new friendships and old ties..

The last few months of my life have been ; well it's really hard to find one adjective for it; nostalgic definitely, eventful in terms of deciding my future for sure and wonderful in the matter of friendships and ties. Yes, so if one adjective could round off the three of these distinctly different feelings, that is what my life has been like. A couple of months without work, sitting at home and contemplating the future with time on hand, being depressive and nostalgic like I have never ever been, cutting myself off from human contact as much as possible, for large periods I had become a loner. I was faced with failure yet again, for as they say a miss is as much as a mile, but life as they say has to go on. And go on it has.

When good things happen, they start happening together. I remember a game show which had a tag line "Dene wala jab bhi deta deta chappad phaad ke". The dene wala never did give chappad phaad ke to the makers of the show, but I guess when things change for the better, they do become drastically better.

Mumbai it was first, the beginning of my mini India tour, where I met some good friends. It was easy to laugh and talk and drink and breathe. I was suffocating in Calcutta, I needed this breath of fresh air. Mumbai rocked, it made me more positive on life. A weekend to forget my worries and spend time with people whom I knew cared. Life suddenly looked better.

Then Delhi, when things finally started working out. The clouds on my future cleared up, and I also met a couple of old friends and had a blast of a time. The joys of friendship are many, but the joy of friendship renewed after a long gap is even better. Friendship is like wine they say, it only matures with time.

Then off to Nagpur it was, a lot of nostalgia, a lot of memories, a few old acquaintances, a few dear people. But the best of all a school friend, one of my great buddies, with whom I had long lost contact. The link was renewed, albeit in adverse circumstances, but renewed nonetheless, and it felt wonderful, reliving those old memories, laughing over those old episodes, sharing moments and feelings.

Then out of the blue, a new friendship. Someone became really close in the span of a couple of weeks. It was evident to me in a moment, that this was a special friendship. It has never been easier to share, it has never been more fun to laugh and talk. I have never ever hesitated a moment in being myself, and really, it never has been easier to be myself. New found friendship is always amazing, and I got a wonderfully fresh perspective on things.

And then a phone call from someone who has and always will be very important in my life, made me really really happy. I had been hiding, shying away, afraid to get hurt. I had shirked the responsibilities that come with friendship, because I was scared it was going to be so weird. But one phone call, and after ages, it was easy once more. All my fears have gone, and I promise I will stay in touch.

And then all of a sudden, I came across my oldest friend, my first friend, someone with whom I have shared my entire childhood. We have laughed and fought and cheated and had amazing times, and talking to him after such a long time was the most wonderful experience. It was so much fun, it was like resuming from where we left off so many years ago. A lot of things have changed I am sure, but a lot remain the same too.

There is so much more that I want to say, so many memories that I want to share, so many things that matter to me so much, so many more people who are important to me, but I cannot say them all. When I meet each and every one of you, one thing is for sure, i will appreciate the fact that you are special. Because truly, i want to thank each and every one of you, for creating those magical happy moments in my life. Thank you so much for being my friends.

The wait before the date

She gave me a ring, let’s meet up at 6,
It was 5:45 already, she had put me in a fix,
I called up my friends, sorry but don’t wait,
I got a call, I’m going on a date.

I opened my cupboard, took out my best shirt to wear,
Then off to the mirror, I had to style my hair,
I struggled with my jeans, borrowed deo from a friend,
Another look at my watch told me, I had to run till the end.

It was 6:10, I reached, expectantly looked at the door,
Did I really expect her, to be waiting on the road??
I looked in my pocket, fumbled with my phone,
Dialled her number, gave her a call.

My call was ignored so I decided to wait,
Another look at my watch told me, as usual she was late.
I wondered what she’d wear, the smell of her hair,
Till a guard on his bike, gave me a strange stare.

I wondered what to do, fidgeted with my keys,
It was 6:30 already, while I was waiting under the trees.
She gave me a call, I’ll be down in a bit,
I’m getting ready she winked, you’ll be in for a treat.

I was getting restless now, stomping my feet,
I would’ve rather gone with my friends on the beer treat,
I thought of the earful, that she would have to hear,
So the next time this wait, I wouldn’t have to endure.

Then she called me again, come up to the door,
She knew I was restless, and angry for sure,
But then when I saw her, as she opened the gate,
I realised it was worth it, the wait before the date.

Friendship.. People please suggest a better name..

We began the path on a sunny day, with scores walking by along,
The weather was full of mirth and gay, people breaking out in song,
Where my friend, have those scores gone now? All have but disappeared,
Aye my friend but for a few like you, all were gone the moment difficulty first appeared.

There were dozens still when clouds first covered the sky, shielding the sun from us above,
Some said, wow, what a wonderful sight, some ran from the storm as I knew they would,
Where my friend have they vanished now, the moment fun and games came to a stop,
Aye my friend but for a few like you, who always stood by my side like a rock.

There were many still when the rain came down, a gusting wind and huge wet drops,
An immense storm, like never before, scared most of those left, off,
But friendship my friend is a test of time, and but for it I would never have known,
For in those moments of adversity in that great storm, the seeds of great friendship were sown.

But we were just us left, when the storm finally dropped off, into a beautiful evening sky,
With a reddish hue, just like that of gold, and a wind on which you could fly,
It is apt indeed after the paths traversed that we come to this beautiful end,
For people will come and people will go, but we shall always remain great friends.

The man, the man that I was.

I sit on the edge, I look to the sea, I wonder what I am,
A gust of wind blows in my face, but somehow it’s not the same,
I close my eyes, my mind begins to whirl, my life passes by across,
And that’s when I begin to realise, I’m no more the man I was.

Those were the days, I had no fears, never gave a second thought,
I fought with my hands, loved with my heart, never ever had a doubt,
But now valour takes a turn to the south, when adversity clamps its hideous jaws,
And my head tells me again and again, I’m no more the man I was.

Those were the days, when lead by my heart, I reached the very brink,
Gave up myself without even a thought, that I might ever sink,
That fearless abandon I find no more, and while I lament at my loss,
Every drop that runs down from my eyes screams out at me, I’m no more the man I was.

But do I fear that all is lost too soon, while all can be made amends,
Have I let my shoulders droop, even before danger were across the bend,
Why can’t I find that valour now, that courage to brace the toughest of all odds,
Why can’t I go back even now, to the man, the man that I was.

And still I wonder what I did, where did I go wrong, where did I lose my way,
But there were things that weren’t in my hands, in which I had no say,
Then I wonder, and for all that’s worth, a question gets stuck in my head,
That where did that man get lost, the man, the man that I was??

As I sit on the edge of this cliff, looking at the sea, still wondering what I am,
Another gust of wind blows in my face, but now it brings a sense of calm,
The things I did, those things that changed the way I lived my life have gone,
And now I feel whenever I want, I can go back, back to the man, the man that I was.